Dear Laura...Do I need a degree in nutrition to feed my kids?

Hey team - welcome to ‘Dear Laura’ - a monthly column where I fashion myself as an agony aunt and answer the questions that readers submit. If you’d like to submit a question for me to answer next month - then you can leave it as a comment below or submit it here.

I’m happy to answer Qs about anti-diet nutrition, developing a more peaceful relationship to food and weight-inclusive health, body image challenges, and, of course, challenges with feeding your kiddos. Please give as much detail as you’re comfortable with and let me know if you’d like me to include your name or keep it anon.

Please remember that this answer is for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for medical or nutritional advice; please speak to your GP or a qualified nutrition professional if you need further support. (I have a limited number of family nutrition spots available before the end of the year - if you’d like to work with me then you can email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk to book a preliminary call to see how I might be able to help you.)

This month I’m answering two questions:

1. Do I need to have a degree in nutrition to feed my kids? and
2. Kids Eat In Colour says *covertly* restricting my kids under 2 is fine for their relationship with food, what do you think?

Ok, LFG.

Dear Laura…

My 6 year old has quite restrictive eating habits. No meat except chicken, no sauces except cheese, no potatoes or rice. She will eat all fruit, pasta, cheese and bread. My concern is that she's deficient in some nutrients. It's complicated by having another child with a wide range of allergies (dairy, wheat, egg, legumes and others). Trying to feed both of them is exhausting and it feels like I need a nutrition degree to feed them and know that they're getting enough of everything they need to grow. What are the essential nutrients that they need and how do you figure out how to make sure they're getting them? What multivitamins are needed? We just use a basic one right now as many of them are so expensive!

UGHHHHH!! I am so sorry you feel that you need to have a degree in nutrition to figure out feeding your kids. It is exhausting trying to figure this out. And it sounds like it’s pretty stressful for you.

I’m going to give you a crib sheet of the major food groups, the nutrients they are associated with, and where you might want to consider a supplement. I hope this will offer you some reassurance and guidance, because I get it, it’s scary to think that you kids might not get everything they need.

But first I want you take a step back and think about a few things.

You say you’re concerned about nutrient deficiencies - are there specific nutrients you’re worried about? And why? Can you name exactly what the fear is? Or is this more of a global sense that she can’t possibly be getting enough of everything she needs because she doesn’t eat kale?

A lot of parents I work with have this nebulous sense that their child isn’t getting enough of a particular nutrient, but they can’t pinpoint exactly what that is. This in and of itself is a source of worry and anxiety, but unless your kid is only down to a handful of foods, there probably is no need to sweat it.

Zooming out, here are some things you can consider:

• Is your child growing as you’d expect? Are they growing out of their clothes? (this will be more frequent for young kids but every year or so for kids >2) 

• Do they have the energy to play/run/be a kid? Or do they seem listless and tired all the time?

• How are they getting on at school?

• Are they sleeping well?

• Are they getting sick more often than their friends?

• Are they pooping regularly without problems (straining/diarrhoea/constipation/blood in stool/dark tarry poop)?

If you look at these and think, ‘you know what, these are all fine’ then the odds are, you’re probably along the right track. It’s so much more helpful to look at the overall picture of how your kid is doing, than get bogged down in the minutiae of details about every other nutrient. But if you have concerns then for sure go see your GP or paediatrician.

That said there are a few nutrients that have been shown to be harder for more selective kids to get in their diet. It’s important to note though, that these are population averages; they may or may not apply to your kid specifically. They are: vitamin A, zinc, iron, omega 3, and calcium.

I’ve put together this table as a sort of cheat sheet to help you decipher where supplementation might be helpful for very selective eaters. I can’t stress enough though, that this is just a guide, and if there’s anything in your gut telling you that you need more support/a second opinion - reach out to a nutritionist or dietitian who can help give you some reassurance.