Dear Laura... Help! My kid is too distracted to eat.

Hey team - welcome to ‘Dear Laura’ - a monthly column where I fashion myself as an agony aunt and answer the questions that readers submit. If you’d like to submit a question for me to answer next month - then you can leave it as a comment below or submit it here.

I’m happy to answer Qs about anti-diet nutrition, developing a more peaceful relationship to food and weight-inclusive health, annoying diet trends and news stories, body image challenges, and, of course, challenges with feeding your kiddos. Please give as much detail as you’re comfortable with and let me know if you’d like me to include your name or keep it anon.

Please remember that these answers are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical or nutritional advice; please speak to your GP or a qualified nutrition professional if you need further support. (I have a limited number of family nutrition spots available for Feb - if you’d like to work with me then you can email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk to book a preliminary call to see how I might be able to help you.)

Today we’re talking about kids who are too distracted to eat…

LFG

Dear Laura…

I have a 3 and a half year old who I am really struggling to get enough food into. I’m trying not to put pressure onto her because I know that’s not helpful. BUT when she eats she gets distracted before she’s full and then 30 minutes later will turn into a complete dirt bag because she’s so hungry. This happens a lot when we’re at a birthday party or a family gathering and I don’t know what to do. It makes leaving family events so hard because she is so hungry she’s reaching a level 10 explosion. HELP!

Ok, I’m going to level with you. This question is a plant. Well, sort of. It’s not completely made up. More an amalgamation of questions I’ve had from three different friends in the past month or so. Variations on the theme of ‘my kid is too distracted to eat, what the fuck do I do??’

So, here’s what we’re going to do.

We’re going to go back to basics.

I know, I know. You want me to tell you to stick a cute food pick in their carrots. Or get them to chew their peas like a dinosaur. But remember, cheap tricks are more likely to backfire than to be supportive of their long-term relationship with food. There are some ways we can help keep them engaged in a meal. But unless you have the fundamentals in place, no fancy plates or novel forks are going to be The Thing.

I’ve had variants of this question that break down the lines of my kid struggles to get what they need at home versus at a party/event/family member’s home. I think it makes sense to parse out how we can approach both of these situations.

But upfront, I want to say that I don’t think there’s a perfect solution. Different kids and different families will need different things. For example, a kid who is excited about going to a party will likely need something different to a kid who has inattentive ADHD who will need something different if both of those things are going on at once. I’m sharing these ideas as some options to experiment with, not a definitive 5 point plan (I know, annoying isn’t it?).