Body Affirming Books for Older Kids

Last month I shared a round-up of books for younger kids that were body affirming, touching on topics of around body diversity, like race, disability and body shape/size, as well as body boundaries and consent. As promised - here’s a part two with some books for older kids. Bookmark this now so you can find it closer to Christmas!

This month I’ve tried to aim for books that sit somewhere in the 8-12 sort of age range (although they don’t all fit neatly into this grouping and it’s somewhat arbitrary).

Something that I found kind of weird with this age group is how gendered the books are - of course there are different things going on biologically for kids assigned male, female, or intersex at birth. But it kinda feels like it’s important for kids to know what’s happening in all bodies, regardless of sex? It’s like when my NCT group got split up into pregnant people in one group and partners/support people in the other. As the pregnant person, I was informed that I was going to bleed for at least six weeks after birth, and that felt like really important information for support people to know. Likewise, it feels important for dudes to learn about periods and tampons and girls to learn about boners. Just sayin’.

I also didn’t find many that spoke to different experiences, such as disability or queerness (there are some good ones for teens which I’ll get to in another post), so this list is a lot smaller than the last one and took me wayyy longer to put together. I’ve basically moved in to the library.

Even though some of these books are really great, many still have some element of food shaming/judgment or something healthest - but hopefully by the time they’re eight and above, you’ve had enough conversations that they can start to spot this stuff for themselves. Hopefully…

My library only carried ONE of these books, which is so disappointing so I’m going to submit a request for some of these and some from my list for younger kids too - you can also ask your library to get any of these books (or borrow them from another library). Side note: if you’re in Hackney, please consider signing this position to help protect against staffing cuts in our libraries.

Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls by Sonya Renee Taylor

Age 8-12

This is a really simple primer on puberty for girls: what changes to expect and when. It’s written by Sonya Renee Taylor (The Body Is Not An Apology) and doesn’t feel at all condescending or being told ‘what to do’. It offers ideas and suggestions and encourages the kiddo to make their own decisions (i.e. bra or no bra, shave pubic hair or don’t, up to you). Although the book is aimed at girls, there is a note at the very beginning saying that ‘girl’ may not feel like the right word and that they are still welcome there but I wish that there was more on specific experiences like gender dysphoria that can happen around this age for trans and non-binary kids, and how to approach puberty when you are transitioning to a body that doesn’t align with your gender identity.

Aside from that, this book feels more inclusive than some other books on puberty and body changes. It’s especially normalising of changes in body size and shape and goes out of the way to say all bodies are good bodies and that fat isn’t a bad word (although acknowledges that it sometimes gets weaponised). I really appreciate the emphasis that your body is the right body for you and not to compare yourself with others who may be going through puberty at a different time/rate than you.

There is a whole chapter on the ‘right’ foods to eat and how much exercise you ‘should’ get. It’s annoying. It’s not egregious. There is a whole box out on why you don’t need to diet. Good. It specifies how much exercise you should do each day. Not so good (and also ableist). For me, the nutrition stuff is pretty tame - it mostly focuses on things to include and doesn’t demonize other foods (although there is a bit of processed food is bad kinda vibe). But I think if you can have a conversation about diet culture with your kid, then it’s not the biggest deal ever (and it’s definitely so much better than some other books out there).

Side note: there are some other books in the ‘Celebrate You’ series. The one that comes after this, ‘Celebrate Your Body 2’ looks OK from what I can see on the preview, but I haven’t read the whole thing so can’t vouch for it. I did get ‘Celebrate You’ for boys hoping to find something that doesn’t suck for dudes and, well, it sucked so hard. Despite saying it’s ‘body positive’ it is deeply anti-fat and the food stuff is super judgemental. The whole thing feels like a lecture from a strict parent telling you what you should and shouldn't do. It’s not the one.

You Know, Sex by Cory Silverburg

Age 10-14

This book was by far the most inclusive and accessible book on bodies I found (also h/t to my pal Nikki Haggett who shared it with me initially). This is not your average ‘birds and bees’ book; this book is really invested in removing the shame and stigma around sex and expanding our ideas about gender and sex. It talks about sex in terms of respect, trust, joy, power, justice, and choice way before it talks about the biology of reproduction. The book helps kids understand the difference between assigned sex and gender, and helps them think about identity in a much more expansive way that may speak more to their experiences if the stories they have been given so far, don’t feel right. It teaches kids about boundaries and autonomy, puberty and how that looks different on different bodies. It touches on relationships, consent, and safety during sex, plus loads, loads more. This is probably the single most comprehensive book on bodies and sex. Oh and it’s fat positive too! The book is heavily illustrated (with super cool illustrations) so it feels more like a graphic novel than reading a ‘self-help’ kinda book. If you only get one book, make it this one. I really think it will give language to all the weird experiences and feelings preteens and younger teens are having and help them feel safe and seen. Oh, and no weird stuff about food or exercise. I would also suggest reading it all the way through yourself, particularly if you feel confused about terminology or overwhelmed about where to begin having these conversations.