3 Cheap Tricks for Feeding Kids I Actually Like

We’ve talked about how a lot of the cheap tricks we see on Instagram to help our kids with eating are, well, cheap tricks. They do virtually nothing to support our kids' drive for autonomy, connection and wanting to do their best with eating. They’re based on suspicion and manipulation instead of trust, and they don’t prioritize felt-safety in the feeding relationship. Mostly, they suck, and as a nutritionist, they make me mad.

But as a parent: I WANT CHEAP TRICKS. I NEED CHEAP TRICKS. And I figure you might too.

So how can we reconcile these two things? How can we use practical strategies that can support our kids, without having to low-key get a Psychology of Feeding degree? The labour of parenting is already so high - sometimes we just need cheap tricks.

So I’m going to share three things I find helpful - but I am going to give a big caveat that they won’t work for all kids. AND. They especially won’t work if you aren’t coming from a baseline of trusting your kid (including that their body knows exactly what size it’s meant to be), and feeding responsively.Why I like these things is because they are well-aligned with responsive feeding.

The Audacity of Fussy Eating Advice

And some things that might actually help

Can I Have Another Snack?Laura Thomas

They support autonomy by giving the kid choices, options, and a voice (including the right to say no).

They support connection by taking the pressure off micromanaging their eating, to allow more space to talk about their special interests (we are still on Fire Trucks over here and they are also slowly becoming my special interest too), more time to talk about weekend plans or what happened at school that day.

And they support competence by buoying safety at the table - if a child feels anxious they are not going to feel like they can do well with eating.

Before we get to these cheap tricks - I also need to come clean - they’re not actually cheap tricks at all, because, despite what Instagram wants us to believe, we can’t ‘hack’ our way to our kids having a positive relationship with food. Soz.

So, the three things I’m going to share are strategies that can support responsive feeding. And, they’re kind of annoying. And I hate that they work. And they take a bit more planning and effort. But they can really make a difference to how your kiddo (and therefore you) feels at the table. They can also help anxious kids feel calmer and safer at the table. They can support ‘picky’ toddlers to get what they need at meals so they don’t ask for snacks ten minutes after dinner (although this still happens - even to me!). They can help you meet different sensory needs and food preferences without martyring yourself.

Remember that with all these ‘strategies’ - the point isn’t to *get* them to eat. If that’s our agenda then the chances are it will backfire. The point is to take the pressure off of us and them and to (hopefully) make mealtimes feel like less of a battle.